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The Rise and Fall of Fan Boy After
The Fall Before

Dedicated to all the fan boys out there that make doing this so much fun.

I felt really good after eating my dinner and going home. I said hi to my mom and spent a little time review some webpages before I decided to chat. I went to some of my favorite rooms and started talking. It was the usual people talking about some new game book that was really bad but they thought it was really good.
My how dumb some people are. They don't understand what a good game and a bad game is. I know and people still refuse to listen. It didn't matter at the time because I was filling good. Then I noticed her.

She was new, she was someone who I had never seen in these rooms and she had a cool name, "DyceGrrl7212". She was a gamer and I could tell by her name. I checked the profile and found the same thing.
I licked my lips and sent an instant message. It was only a hi and I got one back. I asked her about her favorite games and we got talking. She said she was a college student and had been gaming for sometime. I told her about my recent gaming experience and she felt bad for how I was treated.
Finally I got some sympathy.
She knew how it went with a group and knew that I was betrayed by my friends. She understood and I wanted to know her better. I sent her a picture of me at a Con and she sent me one of her from orientation.
She told me I was cute and I told her I liked how she looked wearing her dragon shirt with jeans. It was a great picture. We kept talking for hours it seemed. When she left I skipped around the house. I was happy, really happy, I found someone who liked me for me. It had been a long time and I started writing a sonnet for her. It was good and I sent it. I was feeling so good I considered telling my group they were forgiven but I decided not to. She was perfect and I could see us being together forever.

With her cybering wasn't going to be the whole relationship. She was the one. The perfect girl that only comes around once in a lifetime and I was ready. She and I... me and her... we were going to be perfect. Going to our games, raising a group of little gamers being the perfect compliment for each other.
Until later.

She came back on about 4 am as I had nearly half of my dedication page made. It was a shrine for her. A place where she would see how much I loved her. I told her hi and she said I was insane. I didn't even know her. I told her I did, we were soul mates, as she cut me off and told me I didn't know her, I couldn't know, and how I shouldn't use the computer to find woman. I told her how great she was and how she made me feel. She didn't care. She told me I leapt to a conclusion and it wasn't what it seemed.

She ripped my heart out. She handed it to me. And then she spit on me. She wouldn't even take a moment to see how much I loved her. She wasn't at all being kind to me anymore she was just yelling and saying I didn't understand.
Looking at it maybe the 10 sonnets were a bad idea.
As I tried to plea she ignored me and I had to leave. I thought about it and realized that she wasn't ready for my love. Someday she would be and when she was I'd be there. In the end I understood why she did it: she didn't want to get in over her head. She wanted to be sure she felt the same way but I knew she'd come around and I'd be waiting.

© Sal Ponce 2001