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The Rise and Fall of Fan Boy Next
The Rise Before

Dedicated to all the fan boys out there that make doing this so much fun.

When I was 6 I played Monopoly for the first time. My family insisted on that Free Park rule. It's not in any of the books. It's not listed anywhere. They made the thing up. I kicked the board over and stormed off. What's the point in playing if they refuse to play right?
I wanted to play, I wanted to play badly but why play with people that won't play right? The rules were meant to be played with that game and were made by the game makers. Instead of accepting those rules they had to make their own. Why? I still want to know why.
Besides they wouldn't let me be the banker.

I have been surrounded by people that didn't want to play right since then. First it was my family, then my friends, then people I barely knew. One day when it was raining at school we started playing Sorry. Well in the game if you land on another token you say, "Sorry" and they go back to start. Except some kid counted wrong. He clearly had a 5 and my piece was 4 away and he jumped and me yelled "Sorry!" and put me back at the beginning. I argued and argued.
No one listened, or cared. I kicked over the board and ran out because if they weren't going to play right then why should I play with them. He was wrong I was right end of story. There was no contest. He should have known I was right and just given up. Why argue? It's obvious. He never played the game and insisted on being red. I'm always red. Always. Never have I played any color. Everyone knows that. They know I am red. I live Red. Eat Red. Sleep Red. I am fucking Red!
But that day I was green. Green is the color of weaklings. No one that plays green ever wins. I've played that game for years and I know that green is the color of losers. I've check the game stats and green is the loser's color. If you ever play Sorry and are green you might as well just not play because the chances of you winning are so slim that not trying would be the best choice.

My elementary life was like that board games that people played wrong and people insisting what I knew was wrong. Who knew the games? Who had all of them in his bedroom? Who was the best player at any of those games?
None of those other kids know any more then me at the games. In fact they know less. I am the best player in that school and if it wasn't for having to play the wrong color in the all school Sorry game I would have showed everyone. But no even then I wasn't red. I was yellow and yellow loses almost as much as green. Those are not the winning colors and those will never be the winning colors. That day I lost in the first match. I could have beaten everyone because I knew the game but they gave me the wrong color and I lost. It wasn't my fault. I couldn't do anything I told them I was red over and over but they made me be yellow. That sickly color that doesn't do anything good and guarantees that you're going to lose. If I was green I would have quit but Yellow has a better chance of winning not much of one but a better chance. And I should have won. Not that shot nosed 5th grader but me. The best player at that school. Instead of losing to people who are nothing compared to me.

© Sal Ponce 2001